You Never Loved Me

Aligned across too much table
the day after, and you eclipse the
margarine, normally glowing with
morning rays at breakfast time.

You didn’t just hurt me, you lied
and saturated my deepest woes.
My eyes are dwarf stars and I struggle
to keep my chin parallel to the rug.

The embarrassment of the lack
of food might have been a priority, but
I barely feel the sting of shame which
is all but muted by your dead stare.

How could the landscape of flesh
possibly conceive such cold recesses?
The swan’s face is hidden beneath the
waters we once floated upon.

Now I look up as I am sinking and see
such a thing of beauty watching me slide
to the lowest my heart has ever resided.
What sting does the edge hold up to betrayal?

Your heart is free of my white fingers
and I can watch as a morning sun bears
you into a new day for us both.
So many teeth litter the curbs.

In my solitude I peer inwards at the frail
creature who’s bones protrude from flesh.
He’s all I can manifest of what I experience
from the shock of learning; you never loved me.

Mason of Wonders

I have been branded as strong
and to be as tall as my title I
built a wall that grazes the clouds.
I am untouchable when I sit atop it.

But high in the windy reaches I feel
so alone, and unlike I used to feel.
I frantically build my defenses higher
which makes it that much harder to fall.

I am afraid to come undone and
feel the need to need anyone but myself.
I am a dancing fox on the table
hoping my grace will save me from scrutiny.

Behind my door lies shadow fingers and bones.
Inside I feel so lost and I don’t know who I am.
I am sealed with a doorknob that must turn
both ways before releasing its hold.

So strong am I, and yet so frail and afraid.
I fear being less than what I am needed for.
I fear being the needy, for need seems so weak.
Somehow the mason must descend his miracle.

Receding Feelings

The clouds perked up
using the wet sand as
a mirror and I smiled
at every glimmer of hope.

The clouds and I go out
to count all the grains on
the beach and wonder if
our blessings could add up.

I considered spinning into a tornado
and twirling violently in the den
throwing every object my arms
could reach before you got home.

Luckily I’ve cooled down over the
years so all you’ll receive is a gentle
twinkle from my eyes and a letter
thanking you for all the butterflies.

Now I sweep away my past
and let the tears join the ocean, because
I can no longer skip time off the waves;
It’s time to find new stomping grounds.